Feeling so CRAZY!!!!!!!!!

Well some days I feel so crazy! I stare at my Dathan and wonder how he feels, Is he confused?, does he feel like nobody knows?,. And his dad makes me feel like he doesn't care for him. I don't know I could be wrong!. He don't play with him or go for walks with him as a matter of fact I don't see him interact with Dathan at all to much. Dathan breaks everything when he's mad or throws his cup around . And DAD loves to be the one to say "GO SIT DOWN" . And I scream at dad because I feel how can you discipline someone you don't show love? Dad got him to walk early and I'm happy he does walk but his methods to me were not nice. My pediatrician does recommend me disciplining my son , but I don't think his dad understands him. I feel like he looks at him as a sick boy and he can't deal with that. He won't admit it to me. Sometimes its hard for me to deal with but I just pray that God helps us through this. And I do know he is Gods blessing to me. I love my Dathan no matter what and I wish hus dad could see the beauty with in. His lost!!!!!!!

It's been oh so long since my last post, but I've been oh so busy. I just had another baby boy David born February 17th 2010, "healthy". My big boy Dathan is taking ok to him, if i go into the bathroom I bring Dathan with me. He's kind of rough with him. He's learning more and more everyday, Dathan tries to repeat everything he hears. Were still struggling with EATING, I pray he can learn to eat fast. He wants to eat all the time, when we go out he throws up in the restaurants all the time. I just get up and apologize and leave a big tip . I don't want to tell him no he can't eat or do I want to leave him home so I guess I have to hold my head high.

Mercer

We have been battling with this infection for the last week. I'm so scared that one of the other children will have it and I don't recognize it. Dathan's never caught a cold or virus that " he didn't share". I guess because of so many horrible stories of "staff" infection I'm just a nervous wreck. These are one of those things that i pray pass by quickly.

Yesterday Kewanda took Dathan out on the porch ,because it was a beautiful day out. So these are the things were going to try to do everyday to get Dathan to excepting the out side life. Today is also nice and all the children are off to school so me and Dathan are going to go out to see how he does.

Intrudesing My Family

Well maybe i should finally intrudes my family, we have Quameer age 15, James (Ty-Ty) age 14, Ameera age 13, Nigel age 11, Meshon age 10, Anayzia age 7, Anayzia sister I take care of Kewanda age 14, Nathan age 4, and my sweetie Dathan age 2. Out of all of those children Dathan runs this house, Anayzia is a little mommy " so she thinks", but "Da- Da" gets his way. Ameera is a beauty queen, every where we go we get she's so beautiful. "she loves it" Nathan loves to be on the computer we fight constantly about him getting off. Hes says I'm the meanest mommy because i make him go to bed when he wants to play. Even in prayer he'll say thank you Jesus for my "mean mommy". The boys are" just boys of course", and Kewanda is shy but loves singing and art. She also my helper with Dathan. We go every where together I love being with my children I even allow my nieces and nephews cousins and their friends to join us when we go to movies ,parks, restaurants. Can you imaging the looks i be getting? Makes me laugh every time. Last week I took I believe 22 children to the movies with me and no other adults, Yes They drove me crazy. (the older ones did) Dathan cried the entire time i had to walk up and down with him in and out of the movie theater. It's something about outside places Dathan doesn't like. He will cry to go out side, but to go in the park or any other place he will scream. Once at Wal- Mart " my favorite place" he wanted to get out of the cart and play with Nathan. I let him out and he ran around and around, if I try that again he'll scream. We live in a 5 bedroom home in Philadelphia,P.A , the 3 babies are in the room with me, Ameera and Kewanda share a room , Nigel and Meshon in one and James and Quameer have their own. Theirs plenty of nights when I wake up and all of them are in my room ,( I actually love knowing their safe in my room". ( I know weird right?)! So that's my family ...

Talking

Dathan has sound out the word "Please" and it sounds amazing to hear my baby's voice. He's been really showing his stuff. We went to the movies the other day and Dathan was not happy he cried the entire time ,but we'll keep working on that.

I am a single parent of nine children in which 8 are biologically mines. My youngest baby Dathan Jackson whom was born on June 7,2006 was clinically diagnosed with RTS at 6 months. I was aware of his heart condition at 17 weeks into my pregnancy. When i was 37 weeks they had to take Dathan because i had really high blood pressure, when he was born they took him right away. They took him next door to the Children's Hospital Of Philadelphia. He had his first surgery on June 9,2006 for Tricuspid Atresia, Pulmonary Atresia,"Hypo right".He's had a second at 9 months and his final stage just in October "08".He has had tube placement twice in which there still draining unbearably, he's also just had eye surgery "Strabismus" on December 22,2008.He has a multicystic and dysplastic right kidney,and of course the thing that's out doing all the rest "reflux". He's always had a problem with feedings but it's not getting better.At birth he couldn't try eating until he was out the clear of his heart condition in which that was 8 weeks . They first tried at maybe 3 weeks, he didn't do very well . So they didn't try again until that 8th week , a Doctor first recommended the G tube because i have so many other children to look after and the tube would probably keep coming out. But i declined because that wasn't a medical decision more like a parental decision. So i went home with my baby and the NG tube and like she said it came right out, two tries and i was a pro at ng placement. One week i had enough so i decided to take a syringe and fill it up with my breast milk , another week he was latching on and drinking straight from his mommy.The problem was and is he vomits just as much as he takes in, but only when he tries eating any solids. Almost 1years old his pediatrician recommended taking him off the breast because of slow wait gain, she put him on pedi-sure which made his vomiting worse i gave him baby food stage 1 and 2.He loved them he ate 5 to 6 jars at one feed.GI clinic recommended Ele-care for a possible milk allergy. Well age two came and he sees that no one besides him eats baby food so he gives up and now Ele-care is his favorite and only food.He's joins us at the table every meal time to eat with his siblings. He gets everything on his plate that everyone else has,he uses his spoon puts food in his mouth, chews it completely than spits it right out.If one little piece of food goes down his throat he chokes ,coughs and vomits it out. Dathan is a ton of fun for me and his siblings, everyday this lil man shows me more and more. Although he can't talk , he can shore enough tell you what he wants , everyone he runs across just loves him. I still have a lot to learn , but i will continue to just love him and love him while learning a great lesson in life,we were definitely joined for a reason.